Damn “Mommy Disclaimers”

Let’s stop justifying and judging and start praising!

You know what really grinds my gears? Damn mommy disclaimers.

It is hard to be a parent these days. There is constant judgement and demands flooding our brains on a daily basis. Like be a badass #bossbabe killing it in your career; but how can you “choose” to leave your kid and go to work everyday? Oh, and are you limiting their screen time while you are cooking their organic, non gmo, gluten free, vegetarian dinner that they won’t eat? Riiight.

It’s ridiculous how many people I see (including myself) that add disclaimers to their posts and while telling stories. There have been multiple times I have done this; and times I haven’t even posted a photo because I was I was afraid the mom cops would be out to get me (ehm *carseat photos*) I get mad at myself for feeling the need to justify my decisions as a mother to anyone.

I can think of so many times I have been talking to friends who were telling me a story about their weekend and mentioned “Jack was playing Playstation while I was doing x,y, and z. But it was only for like 30 minutes, I don’t let him play during the week or anything.”

Sound familiar?

Why did you feel the need to justify that to me? I don’t care if your kid plays Playstation. And if I did? Then eff me.

For instance, I posted this cute photo of Aria sleeping in her crib on my Instagram story awhile back. I felt the need to add she only had a blanket under her because her sheet was being washed. After doing that, I thought to myself, would anyone actually judge me, or better yet, say something to me? Or was I just being insecure.

The answer? Probably both.

The sad reality is people judge. We all do it, and its crappy. When I was pregnant I posted a workout summary from an Orangetheory Fitness class and I got multiple messages from people telling me I shouldn’t be going to OTF while pregnant.

• 1st of all- I worked at Orangetheory for 2 years and was a coach, I knew what I was doing.
• 2nd – we had plenty of pregnant women attend classes, you modify as needed.
• 3rd, and most importantly- you are not my doctor (who I actually consulted prior to taking class.) So thank you for your concern judgement.

We are all doing what works for us and that may look different on different people.

Recently, I was at the grocery store and this mom was loading her car up with groceries and the little boy was already in his carseat in the car. I hear him scream “You are the worst mom!” and the poor, flustered, embarrassed mom says “oh hunny, I know.” I looked at her and smiled and said “oh, the dramatics!” and she looked at Aria, smiled and said “love em now while shes young.” We exchanged a small smile of compassion and I took her cart and we both went on our way. Now lets think about what probably happened here. The kid probably wanted candy at the checkout line and was told no, or wanted to go outside and play when he got home ,and was told no. Kids can be told no. Doesn’t make you “the worst mom.” But I felt for her. She was clearly embarrassed, and for what?! I almost feel like if there was no one around she wouldn’t have thought twice about it.

So let’s make a pact to stop adding damn disclaimers to stories and social media.

Whether you breastfeed or bottle feed – who cares, feed your kid.

Whether you co-sleep or independent sleep- who cares, let your kid sleep.

And whether its our own insecurity or actual judgey-ness that causes us to do it, let’s all just stop. Are your kids happy and loved? Great, well then that’s a #win. We are the best parents we can be to our babes. You’re killin’ it mama!

Xo, Emily

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