9 Months (x2) of Loving You

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39 Weeks.

Aria has now been part of this world for as long as it took to create her.

It is crazy how in one sense, 9 months seems like an eternity, and in another it’s the blink of an eye. I feel like I was pregnant for 9 years….can’t be just me? Like it was literally never going to end. Yet somehow my time with her has flown by.

I wanted to take some time to reflect on how the last year and a half has changed me.

Left is from the night I went into the hospital to be induced vs. Right is yesterday.

From these photos, you can see the physical changes. Despite the same black leggings, (I like to call it my “uniform”) you can see:

• I have make up on and curls in my hair vs. my standard messy bun (hey I put a little bow in for effort!)
• I had wedges on to go to the hospital HA! vs. my “go to” Ugg slippers
• I look well rested vs. that always tired look I rock now
• Her nursery is pristine vs. the current craziness
• I had lash extensions and a manicure vs. bags and chipped nails

But my smile is bigger.

*What’s not pictured is my messy house, empty fridge, piles of laundry, sleepless nights, tears (happy and sad), laughter, saggy tits, and soft belly*

But damn, I wouldn’t change it for anything.

I had no idea how becoming a mom would change me. I said for years that I wouldn’t let a baby run my life, I would make them fit into mine.

Newsflash: you actually WANT to change. It’s crazy.

I would consider myself very social. Always down for a good happy hour, or a boozy brunch (that might turn into dinner- oops.) I was nervous about losing my social life and having baby crap takeover my house; which seems so silly now.

I am lucky that my husband and I are very good about giving each other “me” time. Regardless, we want to spend our time with Aria. My day feels fulfilled when I get a little QT with my babe. I love seeing her accomplish something new she has been trying for days, or the huge grin on her face when she sees me walk into the room. *Cue my tears* I never feel like “I miss my old life.” If anything I’d say the opposite, I miss her when I try to be “old me.”

But there is no “old” and ” new” me. There is just me.

Someone who has grown A LOT in the last year and a half.

I have been challenged in more ways than I thought I could handle… yet somehow I did.

I feel strength I never had before. When things feel impossible, somehow they aren’t.

I feel proud of the selflessness and patience I have found, I wasn’t sure this would happen for me.

I love harder than I ever knew my heart was capable of.

 I am grateful to be a work from home mom with tons of help and support; but the days can be long.  They are filled with so much learning and love, for both of us! Every new milestone comes with its own unique joys and challenges. I try to remind myself of the age old expression “the days are long but the years are short;” and when I think that 9 months has already flown by with my sweet babe, this really hits home. 

I was speaking to someone recently whose children are a bit older now and they said something that resonated with me. “I remember rushing the hard days away. As much as they can suck, take it in.” She went on to explain that every stage of raising kids will present their own challenges, but you only get it for a short period of time. 

I only have my baby as a baby for a little while. As I stare at the monitor looking at what looks like a little toddler now, I think about how fast my squishy has grown up.

18 months ago I started my journey to motherhood. 9 months ago I was blessed to become a mommy. Today I feel stronger and more ready then ever to {slowly} raise my little girl. I will constantly be learning with her and pushing myself harder than I thought possible.

But damn the time flies, and I will not rush these days away. 

 

Cheers to surviving 9 months <3

Emily

 

Your turn: I’d love to hear your take on postpartum life at 9 months! Drop your reflections in the comments below.