My experience {apprehensively} leaving my babe for the first time
If you follow me on the gram you likely saw my husband surprised me on Christmas with a 2 night getaway – – K I D L E S S. Initially I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, I had a lot of questions and fears off the bat, but in the end it was exactly what we needed!
He did something I have asked for years. I always see those stories on Facebook of some guy surprising his wife with a date or a trip that day like “pack your shit, we out!” I’ve always wanted him to plan something, surprise me, and handle it. {Emphasis on the handle it} I am sure I am not alone that when plans are made, it is up to us ladies to handle the details, down to who will let the dogs out while were gone. And I need to give him a pat on the back for this one. He had childcare all lined up at the time of presentation and left me to just pack my bag and wipe my tears {and a week to mentally prepare myself!}
The Presentation
It was so cute. I got a calendar invite to a “Mommy & Daddy getaway” at a place we had talked about going to for years, the Omni Homestead in Virgina (about a 5.5 hour drive from us.) I joke that my max time in the car is 4 hours so that made me nervous, but not more then leaving my babe behind. The only other time I left her was to go to DC for a wedding and Ev stayed home one night and came down for like 12 hours total. This was a big deal for me. I am home with her all day. How was I supposed to just leave her?
- What if she doesn’t remember me?
- What if she is mad at me?
- What if something happens to us?
- What if something happens to her?
My mind was spinning.
But I also knew we needed this. We needed to recharge and reconnect … and sleep.
We are super fortunate to have family in the area, so my parents took Aria one night, while Evan’s took her the next. This definitely added a level of comfort to ease my nerves.
The Night Before
January 1, just one week after being told about this, we were frantically packing and cleaning the house after Aria went to bed. I finally felt excited. Sure, I am more of an island type gal, but lets be real, kids are expensive and we just were not in the position for a “big trip” this year. I was absolutely pumped to spend the next 3 days with my hubby doing … whatever! I was pumped to be able to just sleep and not be thrown right into a circus at 7 am!
No Turning Back Now
Tears. That’s all I can say. I knew I would be fine once we hit the road but that morning I held A a little tighter and played a little harder. She was pretty uninterested in hanging out with me as Paw Patrol and blueberries were way cooler, but I knew it was more for me than her. Once my sister in law arrived to watch her for a few hours and we were ready to leave I felt a knot in my stomach. I quietly cried a little bit and gave Aria the biggest hug. I got a few big open mouth kisses and next thing I knew, we were on our way.
Just as I thought, I was fine once we hit the road. Surprisingly the drive there was pretty enjoyable, despite my hatred for riding in a car that long. It was gorgeous scenery, good music, better company, and I stayed occupied by working almost the whole way, because this mama never really stops.
Pulling up to the resort got me re-energized for this alone time with Ev. We spent the first evening exploring the resort and drinking some wine (of course!). Nothing too crazy. Our main goal for this trip was to relax, not explore.
After some great food and drinks, we went to the room, watched Ballers, and hit the hay early.
Day 2
Guys… I got to sleep in for the first time in a year. Like as long as I wanted with no extra noise or obligations, or GUILT!
This gave me life.
I woke up around 7:45 but forced myself back to sleep until NINE! This was followed by breakfast in bed and a slow start to an awesome day ahead.
We spent the afternoon in the hot tub, drinking wine in the ski lodge, a playoff on arcade games (I got my ass kicked) and taking a nap. We even had a brief stint ice skating which isn’t really noteworthy other than the fact that we actually found this to be the most fun 15 minutes of our trip. We were super flirty and laughing a lot, even though it was raining, it was so fun. We topped off the night with a fabulous steak dinner. I couldn’t have asked for a better day with my man <3
Heading Home
Once again we slept in because, you know, we could. But once we woke, we were both ready to get home to our girly. We grabbed a quick bagel and hit the road. We did decide to make a quick touristy pit stop along the way and check out some caverns, which was pretty cool! But the car ride home was looooong and it rained most of the time. But I think the worst part is we were both just so ready to see our little babe.
When we finally got to my mother in law’s house I thought Aria would run to my arms, but instead she was busy eating strawberries so she could have cared less. She was completely content and did great for both of our parents (or at least that’s what they told us) which was such a relief! About 15 minutes after being there she gave me the biggest,longest hug. This is also the first real hug I remember her ever giving to me.
We scooped up our baby, headed home to put her to bed, and life continued on as normal.
Reflection
Monday morning Evan went back to work and I jumped on my laptop to work after putting Aria down for a nap. I picked up my phone and text “I miss you”, he replied “I miss you too.” I am not going to say this never happens… but it’s been awhile. It was so nice to spend time just the two of us again. In the hustle and bustle of life,especially with a kid, it is so hard to remember to prioritize your partner. I am lucky that his company closes down for a “winter break” from Christmas Eve until the new year; I got really used to having him home. As a work from home mom, I don’t have a whole lot of interaction with adults during the day so it was nice to have some help and someone to talk to other than my {almost} one year old.
We truly recharged and reconnected on this trip. It was slow, and laid back, and we genuinely just spent time together.
I was so worked up thinking about all of the logistics when he first told me about the trip that I didn’t think about how important this would be for us. I was worried about who was taking Aria and when and how and did they know what kind of food she liked? or will they keep her on her schedule? Fortunately, his confidence made me confident and in the end it was the best decision that we went. It is always hard to leave but it makes coming home that much better. Whenever I feel the #momguilt coming on from doing anything by myself, I try to tell myself I will be a better mama after. And I honestly feel like that is the case. I came home excited to see her and spend time with her and with a new energy and appreciation for our time together!
Water that Grass
While it may seem overwhelming to plan time for just you and your spouse, “water that grass”. You can make it happen. When there is a wedding, or a fun event you want to attend, or an obligatory work event, you make it work. So make the time to commit to you and your partner. Find a way. I am not saying you have to do a trip, but a dinner alone at the very least. Have intention in your relationship and make it a priority, because it almost always puts you coming out on top. Ev and I have recently recognized this as a priority and we find that when we do make the time for one another, we are both more fulfilled in every way <3
Xo, Emily
How did you feel after leaving your little one for the first time? Drop your answer in the comments!
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